DJ, thank you for sharing. You and your family are prayed for even as I type this. I endured a season of depression in 2004 after the sudden death of my fairly young mom. I was in the middle of seminary and felt like a zombie trudging to church and class. The Church still struggles with how to minister to people who go through these seasons. Some hastily slap Scriptures all over your forehead and shout "It'll pass" because they don't want to travel that road with you. But I don't blame them. They often don't know what to do.
As a person who has walked through it and walked with others as they went through it, I have found myself, like a small child, beating against the mighty chest of the Father in all my frustration, tears, confusion, and hurt is powerful---still loving Him but struggling and not being ashamed to tell Him.
God honors that and meets us where we are. And He works through other people and this is important. You're not alone and I know I'm not the only one praying for you. Take care, brother.
K
Joe Chen
· 2 years ago
Thanks for sharing what you're going through. I don't know anyone who would have shared that in a blog, but your honesty in your weakness is refreshing. May God deliver you through this dark part of life. We'll be praying for you.
Bo
· 2 years ago
DJ - Brother I appreciate your courage and honesty. They are an encouragement to us all.
Debbi
· 2 years ago
I haved lived in the place you describe. I could almost see it as a fog rolling over me and settling down around my shoulders. The weight made it hard to move. Getting out of bed to do the simplest things were unattainable. Words and thoughts became jumbled and somehow could not be spoken. I was ashamed to let anyone see me like this. Diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer 2 years ago, did not bring on the disabling feeling as the depression did. Looking at my life thinking what have I done Lord to please you? Feeling unworthy. Praying to feel his arms wrapped around me to feel his love... begging for it and being swallowed up by the fog. Days and nights melt together. My husband saying he can't put up with it any longer. And still my words did not make any since. It is a very lonely place. A living hell. I pray for all of you. We are all worthy because the Lord loves us. He loved us first. I battle daily with it. Thank-you for sharing your stories. Debbi
daniel so
· 2 years ago
DJ -- Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly, and for not brushing aside depression with a quick, "Just pray more and you'll get over it." The truth is, as you have shared, even for people with a deep trust and abiding faith in Christ, depression is not easily overcome. May God's peace be even more real and present than any darkness in your life.
David Park
· 2 years ago
i love who you are DJ. thank you for your courageous confession. you are such an encouragement and inspiration for me. I owe you so much. I love who God has made you to be. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.
djchuang
· 2 years ago
Thanks, all, for stopping by and leaving a word of encouragement, and interceding in prayer. I am doing okay right now. Did want to reveal that I have had this kind of a struggle in the past, and recognize that it may revisit from time to time. I'm grateful for a supportive family and a few friends who can walk along side of me when I feel stuck and disoriented. Thank you for being a part of my support network here.
Justin
· 2 years ago
Indeed, thank you for the honesty as well as resources.
Lucy Lee
· 2 years ago
your words so resonate with me... they capture the essence of our struggle here on earth. i'm reminded that the fall of man means that we are cursed to a bodily death; a sinful, self-centered nature; a frail, weak body susceptible to illness and disease; and depending on your translation, a deceitful, perverse, desperately wicked heart and mind. thank you for your eloquent words that express what it means to experience depression, a symptom of death, that befalls a fallen man, yet also gives testament to a God that has not forgotten His creation. thru Jesus, God loved us, made the sacrifice to cover us, to pay the heavy price for our sins, to redeem us back to Himself. and then God imparted us with His Holy Spirit and His Word so that we can walk with God once again as we did in the Garden of Eden. we look forward to the fulfillment of God's promises for a new body and a new earth. yet while we still live in our earthly bodies, though the core of our nature be renewed to enable us to live forever in the presence of God, our new nature will continue to be frustrated by the limitations of our flesh nature and by the Curse until we participate in the rapture or resurrection of the end times. DJ, you are an example of what it means to stand firm, knowing who your God is, enduring this thorn in your flesh for a better day. your humility bespeaks a man who knows true intimacy with God.
1 Corin 15:22-26, "For just as in Adam all die, so too in Christ shall all be brought to life, but each one in proper order: Christ the firstfruits; then, at his coming, those who belong to Christ; then comes the end, when he hands over the kingdom to his God and Father, when he has destroyed every sovereignty and every authority and power. For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is death."
djchuang
· 2 years ago
What makes depression a harder thing to get one's hands around is that there could be (at least?) 3 kinds: reactive depression, clinical depression, and bipolar disorder. The term "depression" may be generally used for any of those 3.
Reactive depression is described as normal feelings of sadness for sad events, but the feelings go away in a few days. Clinical depression has been described as intense sadness over a prolonged period of time and disruptive to functioning in life. And then bipolar disorder has some kind of cycling between depressive (low) times and mania (high) times, some have very disruptive extreme symptoms, some have less disruptive symptoms, but disruptive nevertheless.
It is debated how much medicinal help is necessary, and speculation on how the pharmaceutical industry might be influencing the increasing diagnosis of depression and/or bipolar. But lifestyle adjustments is pretty much always necessary, especially with help from psychotherapy. It's a good thing to ask for help.
All Comments
As a person who has walked through it and walked with others as they went through it, I have found myself, like a small child, beating against the mighty chest of the Father in all my frustration, tears, confusion, and hurt is powerful---still loving Him but struggling and not being ashamed to tell Him.
God honors that and meets us where we are. And He works through other people and this is important. You're not alone and I know I'm not the only one praying for you. Take care, brother.
K
Diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer 2 years ago, did not bring on the disabling feeling as the depression did. Looking at my life thinking what have I done Lord to please you? Feeling unworthy. Praying to feel his arms wrapped around me to feel his love... begging for it and being swallowed up by the fog. Days and nights melt together. My husband saying he can't put up with it any longer. And still my words did not make any since. It is a very lonely place. A living hell.
I pray for all of you. We are all worthy because the Lord loves us. He loved us first.
I battle daily with it. Thank-you for sharing your stories.
Debbi
1 Corin 15:22-26, "For just as in Adam all die, so too in Christ shall all be brought to life, but each one in proper order: Christ the firstfruits; then, at his coming, those who belong to Christ; then comes the end, when he hands over the kingdom to his God and Father, when he has destroyed every sovereignty and every authority and power. For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is death."
Reactive depression is described as normal feelings of sadness for sad events, but the feelings go away in a few days. Clinical depression has been described as intense sadness over a prolonged period of time and disruptive to functioning in life. And then bipolar disorder has some kind of cycling between depressive (low) times and mania (high) times, some have very disruptive extreme symptoms, some have less disruptive symptoms, but disruptive nevertheless.
It is debated how much medicinal help is necessary, and speculation on how the pharmaceutical industry might be influencing the increasing diagnosis of depression and/or bipolar. But lifestyle adjustments is pretty much always necessary, especially with help from psychotherapy. It's a good thing to ask for help.